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Discuss Your Experience
Dean76
Posts: 1 Joined: January 2007 |
Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 9:34 pm
We have a 5 month old baby and whenever I try to do anything my wife tells me I'm doing it wrong. Just the other night she went to the gym - I told her I had everything under control and to go enjoy herself - she called me when she got there. I told her I was about to put the baby in the bath. She hung up and raced home IMMEDIATELY. I can't give the kid a bath??! I'm sick of this. I want to be a hands-on Dad but I'm getting no help from her. have any other Dads experienced this? |
Paula
Posts: 2 Joined: December 2006 |
Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 10:05 pm
Dean - that bath story really hit a nerve with me. I was just like your wife with our first kid. I had to do everything myself because I was the mummy. Then I remember one night I just lost it with my husband when the baby was about 14 months. I asked him to give our son a bath and he turned to me and said he didn't know how. And, of course, I was so upset with him -- how can you not know how to give him a bath, he's over a year old!! -- I was so furious. My husband just looked at me and said "I don't know how, because this is the first time you've ever asked me." It took me 14 months to realize that I was really standing in the way of him getting to know his own child. I know it's hard right now but the penny will drop with your wife soon. Just be patient and keep trying. |
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Val
Posts: 4 Joined: February 2007 |
Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 8:56 pm
Um....why did he wait 14 months for you to *ask*? Did he never see the baby in need of a bath? Didnt he ever take the initiative and do it himself? |
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Val
Posts: 4 Joined: February 2007 |
Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 9:03 pm
Do you change diapers when needed and not just when asked? Do you notice when diapers are low and pick them up on your own on your way home from work without being asked?Do you know the size and brand? Do you know when the baby items are getting low alltogether and pick them up without having to be asked? Do you know the feeding schedule, when the baby last ate, what the baby last ate, what the baby should eat next to make sure a nutritional daily diet has been establised? When it should start on solids? What solids? ect ect? If she doesn't think you can give the baby a bath, there's probably a reason beyond she just doesnt want you to or thinks you cant. You want to be hands on. Then do things on your own, without having to be asked. Know how many diapers you have on hand. Know how many you have left before you go get more. Know what the baby bathes in. Know when it needs to be replaced. Know when the diaper rash cream is low. Get more. Basically, do what she does on a daily basis, without being promted, without being reminded and without her having to ask first. If you behave like a primary care parent, she will see you as one too. |
